Illinois (0-6) - He gave Houston and Boise a run for their money, but BrwnBear has still yet to get the elusive first win. We may have a Toilet Bowl preview coming up at season's end when the Illini square off against another top candidate on this list. Despite an average 3 (three) yards per game on the ground, and being the 2nd worst defense (YPG) this season, this is still probably the best 0 win team in the league right now. So they have that going for them.
Colorado (1-7) - Gotta give the Buffs credit this year. They scared off probably one of the best coaches they ever had in Nolie, and have managed to remain competitive with Whitt this year. It's not that they're getting destroyed on a regular basis, they've just had those games that make you wanna choke someone. 5 of 7 losses have come by 10 pts or less. Their 4 remaining opponents would be wise to not take these boys too lightly. 
Tennessee (1-7) - You can't fault Tennessee as much as some of these other programs because of where they play. Coach Wasted's offense has been relatively error free, with a low turnover average. They just can't do shit against these ridiculous SEC defenses. They shocked some folks last season, but the honeymoon is over and the SEC has kindly told the Vols to bend over and take it. Lube appears to have been provided thankfully. To their credit their one win actually came against a real coach!
Kansas (1-5) - We all knew it was a matter of time before one of our staples of this list made it back! He may not be here long though, with two matchups on tap with two members of this illustrious list, I give the edge to the wily veteran in both. Either by Sim, or some frantic Bottom 10 action! He's roughly at or above both these guy's PPG avg, so i'm going with the Jayhawks to hopefully eliminate themselves from Toilet contention.
Fresno St (1-7) - Things keep getting worse for Wasik and Fresno, who have lost by an average of almost 19 points a game. 4 Turnovers a game probably helps that cause. I'm sure Fresno fans just want the season to end and end quickly. The Bulldogs have been the beneficiary of a ragequit win via New Mexico going AWOL however, and that may be what keeps them out of the Toilet Bowl for the season. 
Central Michigan (0-4) - Bernie and CMU are another victim of the "Can't do shit" syndrome, except in a much much worse conference. Averaging a paltry 7.5 pts a game, you can't blame the man for not wanting to finish the season. I'm sure the paydays the Chippewas get from the Mushroom tattings by Michigan and Wisky will be worth getting those shiny knew goal posts installed on the field next year. 
Boston College (1-7) - Another staple of this column, Uuaww makes his triumphant return! He'd actually been away from this list recently outside of Season 24, but with the shocking move to B.C. this year has the Eagles in the drivers seat for futility's finest. The match-up against Wake will be for seeding purposes, and I have the loser gaining rights to the Toilet Bowl #2 seed. Despite a 10.83 PPG avg, the numbers are only balancing out to less than 1 offensive TD a game. We know Uuaww's offense can score, so I expect a shoot out (or an ass taxing) when Jamie & Wake come to town.
Utah (1-6) - Schoola was finally able to slow the bleeding with a win over the turnover machine known as Washington. Even so the disappointment is insane given the team's talent. After not score more than 16 all season, they exploded for 42 in the lone victory. Even so, losses to surprising Colo St & Utah St teams have these boys reeling. Still, with an offense like this, 180 ypg is not gonna cut it, especially in the Pac. 
Northwestern (0-4) - Vicktim hasn't played but one game since the last column, and you can't blame him. He's gotten donkey stomped by everyone, and may have been responsible for Michigan's late season resurgence after coming close to being mentioned in this column themselves. Most of their opportunities to win have passed, and they have slim shot at beating the Illini in the rival game at season's end, and could be yet another Toilet Bowl preview. 
Iowa St (0-7) - Coach Taruncheel is our current top candidate and the closest to the golden goose egg for Season 26. They've remained competitive in most games but had two mafugly beatdowns early in the season. They're a sound team statswise and could easily sneak someone but until further notice they got the 1 seed. Circle the calendar for the for the week 12 Toilet event against Beefy's Jayhawks! Notables: WKU (1-7), Kent St (1-4), Army (1-4) Air Force (1-5), Cal (1-4), North Texas (0-2)
Again, we appreciate everyone's participation and ability to gut out the rest of the season. To the ragequitters that are sitting at 0-12. Ya'll can go play in traffic!
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