Let Me Get This Started

[trendon]

I am mainly going to focus on my experiences because I don't give a fucking if things stay in Vegas or not; I am proud of every action I make, stupid or not! That said, I didn't do anything embarrassing anyway.

I showed up Saturday morning at 10AM and my first thought upon meeting everyone is goddamn are they boring. That thought last about five seconds as their stories quickly taught me that they weren't boring ... they were ruined from the previous 48 hours.

I don't really gamble anymore so I go to lunch with Jeff and his buddy Dale. And that's where it started going downhill. Ya see, there are two things about Vegas that I did not know about: 1) you can just run around the place drinking and 2) you drink for free while gambling. I didn't learn the second one until Sunday morning, though as I hadn't placed a bet.

After just fucking around for a bit, we made our plans to go to this club within Planet Hollywood called Prive; with accents and shit, pronounced pre-vay. It was Jeff, Stan, Dale, Joe, two British dudes, and myself. I somehow got nominated to be the one in charge of the money so I was bullshitting with the hosts. Meanwhile, Wes managed to get me yelled at by one of them because, earlier, he apparently brokered a deal with the host of this club (he didn't) and the guy recognized me and was getting all pissed, he was like 5-foot-4 and a douchebag so I couldn't give a rat's ass. That aside, I had as much fun on the fucking line as I did in the club.

Right about now things get dicey. You know how people say they were "fucked up" but they are exaggerating? No, I was approaching doom. I had to make a side trip to a strip club for my boss so I was away from the group for an hour. Two things I took away from that trip.

1) I am the only fucking moron who could spend $300 in a strip club with touching a single girl or seeing a tit.
2) Don't EVER EVER EVER let Jeff make the transportation plans. I swear if we had to make one more trip he would have commandeered a fucking helicopter. Jeff can't have a simple cab ... noooo.

So, I return and the group is fucked up beyond reason. We had started the evening hanging out with the Joy Luck Club and they were cool but I quickly came to two more conclusions

1) They ain't putting out
2) I am in serious danger of not making it out of this club alive. I had befriended (re: paid off) the host (named Dragon) and he was taking excellent care of everyone. Too much.

I sat down for about 10 minutes at the table and I was sweating profusely and shaking. I estimate that, at this point, I had about 10-14 beers, ten or so vodka drinks (I like vodka/pineapple or vodka/tomato), a bloody mary, and some Jager shots. I ain't right. I drink A LOT but this pushed me to the limit.

So, getting desparate, I just run out on the dance floor. Looking back, I am surprised I didn't get arrested; for about five minutes, I just stood in the middle of the dance floor with my shirt wide open, my jacket over my shoulder and I didn't move. I was just straight up grilling girls. I found this one that I was somewhat interested from earlier (dressed like a complete tramp) but when I started dancing with her, she had the WORST BREATH EVER. And if you are THAT drunk and can still be turned off by the breath, well, that says something.

I go back to the table, put my jacket down, go back to the floor. Black. I wake up naked and the base of my dick hurts bad. I don't really know who I slept with but I have an idea and she was a total meh, if I am right.

I awake at 9AM and go down to the sportsbook to meet AJ, Nole, Wes and Corey. I am still piss drunk. I get a bloody mary and then I go play blackjack. I caused a commotion at the table, but in a harmless way.

For starters, I have no idea how to play BJ without a mouse; I never played at a table! So, the dealer and the two guys are helping me out. Meanwhile, I am two drinks into my morning before the third one came.

"Make it strong and spicy."

MOTHERFUCKER TRIED TO KILL ME! I swear to god, I was about to call the EPA and inform them that I found a uranium deposit. I was basically screaming at the waitress to get me some water. The two guys at the table are laughing their ass off. With all this chaos, I forget to place my bet so I have to sit out the whole fucking shoe. Now I am sitting there with my volcano of a Bloody mary, the water, and I have nothing to do until the new deck comes out. I can't even sit up straight. I am shaking and so hot I could have cooked an egg on my head. I get to the new shoe and, wouldn't you know it, I forgot to place a bet again. Fuck! I have to wait another ten minutes. I get a fourth Bloody mary and now I am in bad, bad shape. You'd think I'd just stop drinking? Nope, too intelligent.

I actually make it through one full shoe without fucking up, but now I am aggravating the dealer because I can't manage to slip my cards under my chip when I want to stay without touching the chip with my other hand. Nevertheless, I miss another bet and now the dealer says - in a nice way, wasn't mean or condescending, "You wanna go up to your room?"

"Yeah, sorry." We laugh and I barely make it up there. I wake up at 6 and we go have dinner. Then I lose my fucking phone.

ALSO..... DON'T EVER LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS. BRING MORE THAN JUST CASH!!!! I brought just under $2,000 in cash; no credit, no ATM. I am sort of happy about this because by the time I put my bags down in the hotel room, I was down to $1,500. I upgraded my flight from coach to United Coach Plus or some shit for $100, paid for the taxi, paid the balance on my room, ordered room service and boom. $1,500.

I dropped close to a grand on Saturday and I was in money trouble. Also, by the way, I now have my vegas box! I grabbed a small lockbox I had at my Dad's house, went to the bank with him, withdrew $200 and put $100 in a box solely for Vegas trips. I will do this every week. I also need to get a name bank; not Emigrant Savings Bank with branches only in New York.

So now everyone is winding down, but I still need to go out and this is where Stan comes in. Stan is a one-man woman magnet and wingman. This fucking guy wouldn't even introduce himself to a girl. He would be like, "Hey, what's your name? Oh, Aubrey, this is my man Trendon, he is from New York and he is awesome!" That's all he fucking did! I loved it!

Meanwhile, we had made our way to some off-the-path place (forget the name) that was SOOO FUCKING AWESOME. It was like a Manhattan joint. People everywhere, girls everywhere, and we end up playing beer pong, making friends, and drinking ourselves silly until 7AM.

Also, and this is where it gets corny. Trendon is like super in love. I got a wedding to attend in South Carolina next month and I met this chick from Columbia and I was like milkweed in a spring breeze around her; kissing up on her and shit. Her fucking drunken ass stupid friend prevented me from doing anything that night despite Stan dropping "We got a suite" about 100 times. But I am so meeting this chick. Awww, Trendon.

Then I missed my flight because Stan will fall asleep anywhere. Boo!

I can't wait to go back. My feet are still terribly swollen, I've shit about 30 times in the past 24 hours, I spent a good part of yesterday changing my boxers because my ass was literally leaking for no reason, and I can't wait to go back.

[ajalves]

accurate recap there

was a great time. hopefully next year some more guys can make it out. Was real fun meeting some new guys and just doing whatever we wanted for 3 or 4 days....

everyone is welcome, start saving now

[LGF]

no shit man...next time..we are going to get 3 or 4 suites and corey you atleast need to get the random asian dude up on the boards...that has got to be one of the funniest moments...but definately one of the best times ive had ever....and i cant fuckin wait to get back.

btw trendon...vegas called...

they said you should probably go to a clinic...they found a condom still in the package in your room. along with your phone.

btw did you find that phone? or did you just scrap that shit?

[BigStimpin]

Felt like I was reading a chapter in "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell". Is that you Tucker??

Very humorous.

[LGF]

Felt like I was reading a chapter in "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell". Is that you Tucker??

Very humorous.

dude where the fuck were you...you cant break way for 2 fucking gd hours and come say hi...fuck man...you and wasik both!

[Mtwasik]

Felt like I was reading a chapter in "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell". Is that you Tucker??

Very humorous.

dude where the fuck were you...you cant break way for 2 fucking gd hours and come say hi...fuck man...you and wasik both!

Hey now, who's idea was it to change over to the Planet Hollywood sportsbook and not tell me not to go to Cesears? realized once I got there I probably should have gotten at least someone's cell phone ...

oh well, instead I went home and watched perhaps the most depressing day of college football in my life between the UNC and UNLV losses

[LGF]

Felt like I was reading a chapter in "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell". Is that you Tucker??

Very humorous.

dude where the fuck were you...you cant break way for 2 fucking gd hours and come say hi...fuck man...you and wasik both!

Hey now, who's idea was it to change over to the Planet Hollywood sportsbook and not tell me not to go to Cesears? realized once I got there I probably should have gotten at least someone's cell phone ...

oh well, instead I went home and watched perhaps the most depressing day of college football in my life between the UNC and UNLV losses

are you kidding? wow...we stayed at planet for a couple reasons...1 it was bigger...CP sportsbook is HORRIBLE...PH was the shit....and we were also so torn up on friday...I mean...everyone...everyone...dropped a good bit that night.

[Mtwasik]

are you kidding? wow...we stayed at planet for a couple reasons...1 it was bigger...CP sportsbook is HORRIBLE...PH was the shit....and we were also so torn up on friday...I mean...everyone...everyone...dropped a good bit that night.

I don't blame you, I didn't remember CP's sportsbook being that bad, and never saw them reserve that many seats before, I got there a little at nine and people that didn't have seats reserved were sitting on the floor ... I haven't seen PH's sportsbook yet, had I known you were all going there I would have made it for the Saturday morning games for sure ... oh well. Friday wasn't going to happen for me, had to work a high school football game for CBS College.

[plasma1896]

planet hollywood is the official ndl casino for the next convention. the action in that place was crazy. i think i saw the best looking blackjack dealer ever,and cnasty can confirm that . cant wait for next year,and yes trendon is just as crazy as his posts on here.

its was great meeting you guys and looking forward to the next convention. this time i will stay at the PH.

[jsence2]

I am definitely down. I'm surprised you all made it back alive

[jeffdaddy]

SO Feisty would be dead if he had that Rogers pick...

[dakshdar]

What I remember:

Drinking way too much scotch Friday night.

Someone ordered some good pizza Friday night.

Feisty tried to pay the cab driver $12 for an $11.70 fare going from Bally's to The Palms (and even said "Keep the change") and I thought the guy was going to pull a gun on him.

Some girl with nice tats in the Palms. Not nice tits. Well maybe nice tits too, but definitely nice tats.

Nole handing me drinks to bring to girls in Ghostbar. Girls take drinks. Girls disappear. Must be why they call it Ghostbar.

Talking crazy british stuff with the british chicks, thinking it would be major fun to play with Abi's tatas.

Saturday morning feeling like a zombie. Realizing at noon that I had no food other than a banana since the pizza the previous night and that I was getting the shakes and the sweats. Deciding it was between being a buzzkill and going back to my room or being a buzzkill and barfing in the PH sportsbook.

Barfing neon blue after drinking some gatorade back at the room.

Sleeping, but not really.

Meeting Trendon who, in incredibly shocking fashion, turns out to be one of the nicest guys ever.

Waiting in line Saturday night to get into the PH nightclub, but bailing because I had to decide between being a buzzkill and bailing, or being a buzzkill and projectile vomiting on twenty girls at once in the nightclub.

Eating Italian Earl Sandwich up in the suite with Randall and AJ watching SNL and discussing why Lady Gaga is on TV at all.

Waking up Sunday morning a new man. NFL bets, eggs/bacon/hashbrowns at breakfast cafe, winning $85 in blackjack (why couldn't I have found Trendon's table?), cursing out the Titans and Bengals.

Driving 5 and half hours back to LA with Chris and James, the UK Super-Travelers. They sleep half the time and this is not bad because after two hours or so I don't have anything interesting to say to them.

Chris asking if they have free clinics in LA that check for STDs. Me having no answer.

[Dolemitesooner]

I can't stop laughing

[Cnasty]

Hilarious recaps Joe and Trendon.

That pretty much sums it up. Friday night destroyed about 95% of the crew. That night was infamous.

You know you drank way to much when you are so fucking tired, but get into bed and the room is spinning and you cant sleep.

What a freakin time.

[Nole4real]

Nole handing me drinks to bring to girls in Ghostbar. Girls take drinks. Girls disappear. Must be why they call it Ghostbar.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST SPIT ON MY COMPUTER LAUGHING AT THIS!

That was fucking hilarious man

"Girls disappear. Must be why they call it Ghostbar"

I'm still literally lol'ing

[ajalves]

jet lagged like a mofo

feel like a zombie at work today.....

well worth it though

[Nole4real]

I got about 20 minutes while schmoopie is at store so not time to get into it so a couple things

1 - Janeal is the shit

2 - I think I am now an expert on anything Pete Sampras

3 - Get off the plan at 3AM est on thursday...kinda thinking to ourselves..."man..maybe even no drinking..just some light gambling then bed......Stan and the boys show in in a Limo equipped with drinks"....From there Thursday night is just a blur of poker, drinking, gambling and good times (see 3A for some highlights)

3A

*Stan waking up with blood on his pillow ala Dr Faggot from The hangover....took us a few minutes to figure out / remember what happened
*Mike (bigred) was HAMMERED and funny as fuck. Damn good times
*AJ pulls throws the gauntlet down on the all nighter and doesnt go to sleep until AFTER NOON the next day....almost gets in a fight with an ahole at poker at about 9AM
*Jeff has to be escorted by Dale back to room at the request of Secutiry (after all..."who the fuck is he?")

4 - Everyone was pimp, everyone got along (except for the Jeff/Feisty controversey over Favre/rodgers)

5 - Palms bars are fucking SICK, great times.

6 - I just deleted by text messages this morning but I saw the one that nasyt texts me "check me out gring this latina chick!"...doing the timelione conversion..that was literally MINUTES before his wife swung by someone got lucky

7 - We thought Nasty was the only one to "close" Friday night but after further analysis...it appears Jeff made it a threesome when he hopped int he bed with them..so technically he did too

8 - Waking up Sunday morning to see the Asian guy sleeping in the foyer was hilarious...Nasyt has a pic of that he has to get up

9 - With Joe getting drinks at ghostbar as mentioned above

10 - Watching the ndl sausage fest from the balcony with aj as it actually turned out good for the boys

11 - Feeling more and more bad for Trendon everytime he heard "ah man, you should been here Friday night" he was shot out of a cannon ready to go while we were just fucking zombies

12- Corey doing his best Jack Frost Impersonation

13 - 1 millions scenarios in which " I see what you did there" applied to and cracked us the fuck up every damn time

14 - Stan is legend. Seriously fucking legend. That has to be the greatest "business training trip" of all time"

other good shit with plasma making it out, hanging with Rain who HOOKED SHIT UP FRIDAY BIG TIME (and over eating too much Saturdaynight lol)..if you remotely enjoy Trendons post..he's fucking 100 times funnier in real life....wathing feisty have literally a 1.000 betting percentage..............for losing ...at 1st it sucks cause you dont like having any of the wolfpack lose but after a while it was comical even to him

anyway, good fucking time fellas

next year fo sho....Trendon....ya might wanna make it out by Friday this time


..1 last thing for aj...

[Nole4real]

Anyone like Coreys new avatar?

[ajalves]

Jeffdaddy calling the pit boss "tan man" and "Dell Harris" literally sent the guy over the edge

[Cnasty]

7 - We thought Nasty was the only one to "close" Friday night but after further analysis...it appears Jeff made it a threesome when he hopped int he bed with them..so technically he did too

12- Corey doing his best Jack Frost Impersonation

If there was a time when I almost punched someone in the face, it was when JDaddy jumped on me in bed. I was so fucked up,blacked out, when he surprised the shit outta me I almost punched him right in the throat...and so did my wife.

It was NEVER cold enough in the room, fuck you guys and your snuggies.