A little early for our Weekly Rankings section, but with the holiday weekend approaching and lots of activities scheduled for the commish; Fantasy Draft, drinking, lake activities, drinking, family cookout, drinking, drinking, drinking, and .... I don't know drinking maybe, wanted to knock this out so you guys have light reading to take in on an otherwise boring Friday.
Going to switch things up a little and start from the bottom this time as well as adding in some humor. Just never know what you're going to get!
P.S. - remember this is all in good fun!
16) Texas Tech Red Raiders 1-3 (0-1)
buckeye76
Texas Tech is proving that they really know how to stretch a single conference game into an entire season of drama! With their current winless record, they’re like the person who shows up to a potluck with just a bag of chips—technically part of the event, but not quite fulfilling their potential. Stay tuned to see if they can turn their ‘one-and-done’ approach into a surprise turnaround or if this will be the season they redefine what it means to ‘play the field
15) Oklahoma State Cowboys 1-5 (0-4)
practicesafesacks
Oklahoma State's conference performance is like a game of 'Can You Top This?'—but in reverse. With an 0-4 record and averaging just 16 points per game, they’re setting records for both futility and frustration. It's as if they've decided to turn every game into a high-stakes challenge: 'How few points can we score and still pretend we're trying?' Fans are left scratching their heads and wondering if the team is playing a different sport where the goal is to score as little as possible. Here’s hoping their next game features a plot twist that includes a few more touchdowns and a lot less suspense!
14) Houston Cougars 2-6 (0-5)
Yragha
Houston started the season with a blazing 2-0 record, but since then, they've taken a scenic tour of defeat, going 0-6. It’s like they were sprinting out of the gate, only to trip over their own shoelaces and tumble down a very steep hill. They’ve gone from 'season of hope' to 'season of 'oops, we forgot how to win,' and now their fans are just hoping for a GPS to navigate them back to victory. Here’s to hoping their next game is less of a ‘how did we get here?’ and more of a ‘we’re back!
13) Colorado Buffaloes 1-7 (0-5)
outlaw
Colorado’s current conference record of 0-5 is a real head-scratcher, especially with Travis Hunter on the roster. It’s like having a top chef in the kitchen and still managing to burn toast. Maybe they’re just waiting for Hunter to single-handedly turn the season around, or perhaps they're trying to make 'strategic underperformance' the new trend. Either way, it's clear that sometimes even the brightest stars need a little more help from their teammates—or maybe just a better recipe for success!
12) Iowa State Cyclones 3-4 (1-3)
Jrembold
Iowa State's 1-3 record this season has fans wondering if their game plan involves a secret strategy to ensure that only winless conference teams get the pleasure of facing their best efforts. When up against anyone with a pulse and a winning record, the Cyclones look like they're auditioning for a role in 'How to Get Blown Out 101.' But put them against a team that hasn’t won a game all year, and suddenly they’re on fire, like they’ve just discovered the playbook for success. If you’re a winning team looking for a confidence boost, Iowa State's your best friend—just don’t expect any favors when they’re up against teams with a winless conference streak!
11) TCU Horned Frogs 1-5 (1-2)
NarcanMan
TCU is sitting at 1-2 in conference play, but they’ve managed to snag a win against their last conference opponent. Now they’re playing hard to get with the rest of the conference, like they're on a break and just not ready to commit to any more matchups. It’s as if they’re saying, 'Hey, we had our one conference win, and that’s enough excitement for now. Can we just take a rain check on the rest of the conference games?' Fans are left wondering if TCU’s new strategy is to turn the rest of the season into a series of awkwardly polite refusals. Here’s hoping they don’t turn into the conference’s favorite ‘no-show’ act!
10) Utah Utes 3-3 (2-2)
Dakshdar
Utah’s 2-2 conference record is the definition of ‘so close, yet so far,’ especially with their current two-game losing streak. Their games have been as tight as a pair of jeans after Thanksgiving dinner, with scores so close it’s almost like they’re playing a high-stakes game of ‘Can You Top This?’—but in the wrong direction. They’re clearly skilled at keeping things dramatic, but their fans are left shouting, ‘Close, but no cigar!’ It’s like they’re running a masterclass in how to lose with style, making every game an edge-of-your-seat thriller without the happy ending. Here’s hoping their next game is less of a cliffhanger and more of a victory lap!
9) Kansas State Wildcats 3-5 (3-3)
bearass
Kansas State’s 3-3 conference record has all the predictability of a roller coaster ride—except with more 'scream' and less 'scream with joy.' They’ve mastered the art of either getting blown out like a party balloon in a windstorm or narrowly escaping with a win as if they’ve just defused a ticking time bomb. Their games are like a high-stakes game of ‘How close can we make it before our fans lose their minds?’ It’s a wild ride of thrilling finishes and head-scratching blowouts, leaving fans to wonder if they should invest in stress balls or just strap in for the next unpredictable thrill ride!
8) BYU Cougars 5-3 (3-2)
TSTEPANEK
BYU's Stormin’ Mormons, sitting at a solid 3-2 in conference play, are now gearing up for the ultimate showdown: the Holy War against Utah. This game promises to be less of a football match and more of a celestial showdown. As they prepare, it's clear that BYU is ready to unleash their divine playbook, filled with heavenly passes and celestial tackles. The stakes are high, the tension is palpable, and the game will likely feature enough drama to make even the most serene saint shout, 'Holy smokes!' Whether it’s divine providence or just a really good game plan, BYU is ready to turn this Holy War into a holy spectacle!
7) West Virginia Mountaineers 6-2 (3-2)
shel311
West Virginia’s 6-2 record is impressive, but it comes with a twist: their victories mostly come against teams that might just be playing their games on Easy mode. It’s like West Virginia has mastered the art of beating up on the underdogs while avoiding any real heavyweight fights. Their season’s been a bit like a buffet of bad teams—lots of variety but no gourmet experiences. Fans are left wondering if the Mountaineers have been practicing their ‘how to look great against the lesser teams’ routine or if they're just really, really good at finding the perfect opponents to pad their stats. Either way, their record might just be the best-kept secret in the world of overachieving against the underwhelming!
6) UCF Knights 6-3 (4-2)
RB4SC22
UCF is cruising along at 6-3, but it seems they’ve developed a special talent for getting their hopes up against ranked teams only to watch those hopes plummet faster than a lead balloon. It’s like they’ve mastered the art of playing the role of spoiler without actually pulling off the spoiler part. Their games against ranked opponents are like a high-stakes magic trick—watch them dazzle and daze, only to reveal, ‘Oops, no win here!’ UCF might have the swagger and the stats, but when it comes to ranked teams, their success rate is as elusive as a unicorn in a haystack. Here’s hoping they crack the code soon and turn those near misses into outright victories!
5) Arizona Wildcats 5-3 (3-2)
razorback
Arizona is 3-2 in conference and recently has been playing like a team on a mission—specifically, the mission of keeping their fans perpetually on edge. Their last three victories have been so close, they’re practically trademarking the term ‘nail-biter.’ It’s as if the Wildcats decided to turn every game into a suspense thriller, with each victory coming down to the last dramatic minute. Arizona’s playing style might not be relaxing, but it’s definitely entertaining—proof that sometimes, the thrill of victory is just a few inches and a lot of nerves away!
4) Arizona State Sun Devils 4-2 (2-1)
VTrunNgun
Arizona State is proving they’re no longer just the Sun Devils but a full-blown awoken Devil this season! With their only claim to fame, so far, being that they’re the sole team to have beaten—Cincinnati, it’s clear they’ve got a taste for the dramatic. It’s as if they woke up one day and decided, ‘Hey, let’s make a statement by taking down Cincinnati and then spend the rest of the season wondering what to do with our newfound devilish powers.’ Their victory over Cincinnati might not be a full season of triumphs, but it’s definitely a spicy highlight in their playbook. Watch out, everyone—this Devil’s not just stirring up trouble; they’re serving it up with a side of sass!
3) Cincinnati Bearcats 7-1 (5-1)
ShadyNasty
Cincinnati’s season was on fire until they ran into the Arizona State Sun Devils and got a taste of reality—suddenly, their once-smooth ride turned into a bumpy roller coaster. Just when it seemed like they were recovering, they barely escaped Colorado, making fans question if their team was trying to turn every game into a high-stakes thriller. It’s as if Cincinnati’s season took a nosedive from ‘championship contender’ to ‘survivalist extraordinaire,’ with their latest games feeling more like reality TV drama than football triumphs. If the Bearcats keep this up, their next game might need a warning label: ‘Caution—may cause excessive heart palpitations and dramatic last-minute escapes!
2) Baylor Bears 5-0 (3-0)
Dopesoap023
Baylor's 3-0 conference record has them strutting their stuff like they're the undefeated champions of a league they’re not actually playing in. Lately, they’ve developed a knack for dodging games they should easily win, as if they're auditioning for a role in 'Hide and Seek: College Football Edition.' It’s like they’ve decided that their winning streak is so precious, they can’t risk it by facing off against any more teams they’re supposed to beat. Fans are left scratching their heads and wondering if Baylor’s new game plan is to become the undefeated masters of ‘strategic no-shows.’ Here’s hoping they eventually decide that playing and winning is better than just pretending to be the best!
1) Kansas Jayhawks 8-0 (5-0)
Kansas is undefeated and now officially the team no one wants to see on their schedule. They’ve become the football equivalent of a surprise pop quiz: everyone’s dreading it and hoping they can avoid it altogether. Coaches are probably considering emergency dental appointments and imaginary travel issues just to steer clear of them. Facing Kansas right now is like stepping into a high-stakes poker game where you’re already holding a losing hand, and the only thing scarier than the game itself is the thought of getting thoroughly outplayed. If Kansas keeps this up, they might just start offering 'Please Avoid Us' incentives to keep their opponents from showing up!
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